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A chicken. And yes, this was in 1824.

Bubblegum to fix my bicycle tire.

Cigarettes. Slave to the nicotine.

A 20 ft. inflatable banana - but only because I really needed it.

A baby from the mall. I don't know why, really. Still have it somewhere.

Film. Gotta love the smell of fresh celluloid.

A nuclear warhead. Nobody noticed, so it's not really stealing.

A kiss. But there were hundreds so don't worry about it.

Cash. Coooold hard cash.

Ehhrm....China, I guess. Don't ask.

Stay at home, sit in front of the fire, get loaded on mouthwash.

Prime killin' time. I've got at least 6 people to wax tonight.

Hit a party in my "Looks better naked" t-shirt and stock up on crazy cupcakes after.

Sleep. Valium induced if necessary.

I'll have the Vodka intravenously before stripping for a dollar.

Count my toenail collection of 2005.

Violate members of the opposite sex while wearing a glittery red G-string.

Stay here, surf the web in hope that Google can find me a better life.

Eat pornflakes in front of the TV until the ball drops when I'll start playing my bagpipes.

Get arrested, whatever it takes.

Shanghai

Tokyo

Milan

Amsterdam

Berlin

Nice

Buenos Aires

New York

Quebec

Capetown